Of course it would be almost four in the morning.
Yet again it has occured to me that I'm getting married in May, and should probably be a little further on that project than I am. So, I've been scouring the Internet in search of friendly answers, and ending up only getting the heebie-jeebies.
Part of it, I know, is the fact that I still cannot resign myself to the wedding. Getting married, fine... well, it's not exactly something that's settled right in my head yet, but neither has turning 21 and I've been that for almost a year now. But compared to having a wedding? Yikes.
The most recent topics of heebie-jeebie-ness include the fact that someone wants to throw me a bridal shower. Let's not name names, but for those of you who've read these particular brands of rant before, I'll bet you can guess.
Now, I agreed to do a wedding so someone could have a party and invite all their family. Now she wants to throw me another party? That I would have to go to without Nathan and be the center of attention? And just who would be at this miraculous party? She doesn't know any of my friends, and all her family lives in Texas.
I've flat out turned her down already, told her it's not going to happen and if she really wants to do one for someone, do it for Nathan. However, my guess is it will come up again in a month or so. This time, I will be armed with a valuable piece of etiquette: the Maid of Honour hosts the shower, if this is somehow not a good situation, then my sisters or mother would host one. Brandy the MOH and my mother know me better than to do that to me, and I don't have any sisters.
The greatest thing about wedding etiquette is that some of it is hard and fast, and some of it is becoming so open-ended it's delicious. You may have to mention your parents in wedding invitations (unless you're the lucky dogs who get to plan whatever you like entirely on your money), but nowadays they need only be mentioned in the line "together with their parents". Perfectly legitimate and nothing anyone has any reason to be offended over.
I will admit that I am quite the opportunist when it comes to what I use and what I don't. I refuse to allow my father to continue telling me that in any wedding before four o clock, the groom should properly wear a morning coat (props to anyone else who even knows what one is).
At the same time, I am wearing a coloured dress- a tradition stemming from the same period that the morning coat came from (early to mid 1800's). White dresses really began with the Victorian (1880's) wealthy. Since dresses wore out quickly in those days -anyone who has read anything from Jane Austen to Louisa May Alcott to LM Montgomery knows how easy it was to "spoil a dress"- it was an extravagance to wear an entirely white dress, because it generally couldn't be worn a second time due to it looking much worse for wear if mended or washed.
Speaking of the dress, I do at least know what I'm getting. The question is from where. I've found the same dress three different places I've gone, and it's the least objectionable option. So, get this, I'm comparison shopping.
The first place is a 45 minute drive from here, and actually more expensive, but they do their alterations on site. The second is only ten or twenty minutes away, but I'm hazy about their alteration policy. When I was in the shop, the woman was quoting me prices to get things altered, suggesting that they did them there, but their website insists that they give you a list of people to arrange alterations with.
The third place is right out. I went in and started my "this is what I'm looking for" spiel, got as far as "bride's dresses don't come in colours, especially not dark hunter green", and the salesgirl insisted that "OH, they had one"... and disappeared for ten minutes. She came back and said they had one in stock, and the company was still making them, she'd be right back. She was really proud of herself, you could tell. I knew this was impossible, and stopped her in her tracks with a quick "It comes with sleeves, because that's the other impossiblity I'm after". She gave me that incredulous stare that I am now getting used to, and apologised, but, "no, it was sleeveless". Adding a curt "and you'll find that's mostly the fashion right now, but hold on a minute I'll be right back", she disappeared and we didn't see her again. Stood there for ten minutes, too. Not a big shop. Rolling my eyes, I finally got the information for the dress that I'd seen elsewhere, and got out of there. The woman by the door asked us if we'd seen original shopgirl again. I said, no, she disappeared, but I saw all I needed to see, and left.
How on earth can these places afford to have bad customer service? In department stores, you have to beat the salesgirls off with a stick to get them to leave you alone. In fast food restaurants, I can honestly say Subway is the only place who gives me dirty looks about my order (Apparently one does not order just ham and cheese and green peppers, one must put on lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise not to be a freak). And those are not big ticket items that involve multiple vists over the course of months, that's just twenty minutes in the check-out or five before the fries are up.
Granted, only half of the bridal places I've been have been even remotely like that, and I've only been to four or five. I can't speak for everywhere, but, geeze, in the Midwest, businesses don't usually give off that "you really should just turn around and walk out now" vibe.