In the past week I have had three dreams about telling people off- violently.
In the first, about a week ago, I told of Annoyance Eric because he had come to my house and stolen some of my stuff (thinking that he had a perfect right to anything he wanted). I called him on it, because he's not a very good theif, and made him give me my stuff back. I then ordered him off my property and told him that if I ever even saw him again he wouldn't live to regret being in my visual range, because quite simply, he wouldn't live.
In the second, two nights ago, the Nathan's Mother decided that she was going to be in my wedding, because she had every right to be. She was going to wear her old wedding dress, and walk up the aisle ahead of everybody else, and because her dress wouldn't match anything we had planned already, it was all being changed. And I told her off. I don't remember what I said, but I seem to recall it had something to do with bloodthirsty hounds and what they might be allowed to do.
Last night, I told off Pompous Chad. He was being all faunchy about not having got his way when he clearly thought he deserved it. Oddly enough, the details on this are the least clear of the dreams, because all I really remember was that, unlike the other two, I was deathly afraid that he was going to kill me if I said anything.
What the hell is wrong with my psyche? Three dreams in which I get angry at various people for doing things they think they ought to do, and I think they don't ought to be indicative of something, but I can't see a way this is playing out in real life.
After a fairly inconseqeuntial month or so (by which I mean they were relatively conflict free and happy), "the shit hath hitteth the fan-eth". The boy's upset because he's worried he won't get into a school, and his coursework has plummeted straight down the tubes. I'm worried because he's worried, and because what will we do if things go exactly as the worst case scenatio I can think of without being completely irrational.
On top of this, everyone involved in the main stage show in any way shape or form is completely burnt out and extremely edgy. The same can be said for those in the show going up in conjunction with mine. Juice has been wandering around with little frustrated gleams in his eyes because there's such an enormous amount to be done.
Originally, the boy and I were going up to see one of the school's he's applied to, but we're not now. They don't want to talk to him until they've processed more of his information, which means who knows when we'll make it up there. The thing is, as soon as he said we were going to go, I was incredibly happy. It meant we were getting out of town, away from uni, away from all the negative energy that the place is full of and going anywhere else. I don't have anything going on Friday, so maybe I can talk him into going someplace anyway, but I think he won't be able to justify it to himself because we both do have way too much work to do.
Spring Break seems so long ago now, could it really only have been two weeks?
Tonight we have the first real rehearsal for my show. Actor Ben has taken laryngitis, and I suppose I'll know today whether or not he's shared it with Friend Molly. Speaking of disease, PC is in Juice's show, and he's developing something which could potentially turn into mono. This happens every semester right around show time, everyone passes The Plauge around right when we most need to be at the top of our game.
Our department actually looks forward to finals and the studying for finals. The department shuts down. There are no more shows to build, there are no more rehearsals. There are only papers and class projects which are not nearly the demand on our time that the shows are. We have had an element subtracted from our schedules and can finally relax and behave like normal college students- by leaving our classes behind at three o' clock except for a few hours of homework. We can sleep on a regular schedule, if we feel like it, we aren't trapped in the same building from nine in the morning to midnight (let me introduce you to our stage management people).
Commitment kills.