I am back at my parents' house for the next three days. The original plan was that I was to stay in CR with Nathan's family, but since I have a fair amount of things to bring up from home still, my mother thought it best I come down for the entire time.
I don't. I have a hard time dealing with that, because I feel terribly guilty. There's nothing really awful about my family, I just hate being in the same room with them for more than about two hours. This is a nightmare.
The morning of the 22nd I go back. The 21st I pack the car, until then, I wait, that's really only tomorrow and the day after that. Tomorrow it is likely I will also go to my grandparents' house, unless my father decides that Christmas Eve will be enough.
I have lots of dreams of "perfect holidays" that I would love to try for simply because I have never had one. Not exactly something out of Good Housekeeping, perhaps, but maybe something a little better than some of the holidays I have on memory. They're not quite National Lampoon, maybe more like that trench Christmas truce in World War I. Sure, they had a Christmas and sang Silent Night and all that, but there was still a war on.
It's freezing in this house. I feel sorry I ever tell Nathan he likes it far too cold because right now I'm wearing about three layers of clothes and wishing I had some more. A pair of typing gloves would be nice too, if such a thing were manufactured.
I was cold all last night as well and woke up with half a dozen stiff muscles. There are directions I simply am physically incapable of moving at the moment. I wish I had a Nathan to keep me warm and cuddle.