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Hairplane
Tuesday, Aug. 15, 2006
12:08 a.m.

I lopped about eighteen inches off my hair today. No regrets, no worrying. The Great Clips here in NewTown actually did it for free, they made sure to tell me that was the case. They did it the way I wanted to without trying to talk me into highlights, layers, and half a dozen hair products.

Almost makes me wish I would cut my hair other than to donate it so I would pay for a haircut. I'd pay for one there.

I have pictures, but one of them makes me look very very much like Anne Frank, had she lived. In the mirror, I look more like Emilia Fox's The Second Mrs. DeWinter, only it's a different colour. I would have said Lucy Pevensie, but after a Google, I went with Emilia because we at least share a face shape if not hair colour.

Actually, that little Georgie girl looks so much like the Campbell's Soup Kids in most of her pictures. It's really unfortunate, because in some scenes from that movie she looks like a really pretty kid, but then in the next... Soup Kid. I hope she grows out of it. The girl they've got playing Susan (Anna Popplesomething) looks almost like my internal picture of myself (except the blue eyes, makes me think she must really be blonde).

I have decided that I am sick of hearing about the list of things you cannot carry on a plane. I actually read a list the other day. I assumed that when they said "liquids", they meant, yeah, don't bring open containers on board. Nope, it meant shampoo and hair gel and and HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET? "Thoſe who would give up Essential Liberty to purchaſe a little Temporary Safety, deſerve neither Liberty nor Safety." Thank you, Richard Jackson. Profile for all I care, but don't play these little piddly games that don't do any good (how many shampoo bombs have they found, anyway?).

However, there is one other solution. There is one thing they could do to assure me that any plane ride I might take would be hassle free as well as safe. They could pressurise the cargo holds and guarauntee that all belongings would reach their destinations intact. They do that, sure, I'll get on a plane. I'll pack my shampoo and my nail clippers and my CD player and my camera and my chainsaw and my bomb in my suitcase. Carry on? I have a book, what more would I need? Everything else is safely in my checked luggage. The airport people may X-Ray it, they may carefully transport it to the plane, and they may return it to me undamaged or pay me the true value.

I'd be a world traveller in two seconds, and be proud of our airlines. Flying would again be a dignified mode of travel.

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