The universe is taking some interesting, twisty routes towards making itself all right.
My course load has exceeded my maximum loan amounts, because I pay out of state tuition and the world hates me. I probably have to drop one class to avoid paying the university several thousand dollars I don't have rather than just a couple hundred dollars I might have if no one gets Christmas presents.
However, it has come to my attention that there's a little clause saying that if the boy has an assistantship, I get to pay in state tuition. If I take the same number of hours I do now, and use the same loans I have now, I actually get another couple thousand dollars on which to survive, rather than having to pay it to the university. This means I would get to keep my class, and we would have money to, you know, buy food, pay rent, have more than four dollars in our checking accounts. (Yes, kids, it's that bleak.)
Excitedly, I filled out the forms. The girl behind the counter told me to make sure to call back in the next week or so, because her manager tends to ignore things that are important to other people. I laughed and she goes, "No, really, there's a pile in her inbox four inches thick and the second thing under her unopened mail are some forms that should've been dealt with, like, a month ago. You make sure you call her, honey."
Ahhh, administration. Gotta love them.
Anyway, at least nice desk girl gave me the heads up to be persistent. If it doesn't get taken care of soon, I will owe several thousand dollars I do not have, and then they will charge me late fees for said amounts of money I do not have. Of course, when it does go through, I would get a refund, but that may not come until maybe Thanksgiving or maybe the end of the semester.
Cross your fingers and pray to the financial aid gods, will you?
Going back to the "honey" thing, though. Back at uni in Iowa, I thought it was just a small town thing for people to nod and smile at you, because it happened all the time there. Now, I realise it happened just about everywhere, someone would nod and smile at you just to aknowledge you. Here, they don't do that. I noticed because the only other people to do it in the department are the two guys from Iowa: the J-Boss's Husband and Tipton David (who is older than Nathan, but looks like a college freshman). Even the people you know here won't nod greeting, but, as soon as you talk to anyone, mostly girls, but there are male versions, it's all "honey" and "sweetie" (guys say "dude" and "buddy") and what-not. I picked up a lot of those from camp, because it implies that you know your campers' names when in fact they are just another blonde eight year old in shorts, but I don't use them with people I barely know.
When I was a camper they said "ladies". It's on the same principle as reading those books about boys going away to summer camp and being called "men", implying that they're grown ups. I didn't mind that a boy needed to feel like he was grown up and mature, but always hated it at camp because I knew I wasn't any lady, and trust me, neither were the other girls in my tent. Who were they kidding? I may be twenty two, but I'm still no lady.
I'm also realising that suddenly, I am a ma'am, and can no longer take offense for being called so. Not having been a ma'am, it bugged me that people didn't know how to use the word. Actually, there should probably be a more generic polite term for women. Guys are "sir" from the minute the barber gives them their first hair-cut and a lollypop, but women are uncertain and, what's more, liable to get faunchy about it.
Think about it, imagine calling a 70 year old woman "miss". But, imagine the response if you accidently call a single white female of a certain age ma'am- she is going to kick your ass through the glass ceiling. (Do they still write "The Fast Track", that comic strip with the red-headed business woman?)
Lady is generally inappropriate to refer to someone: "Thank you for your purchase, lady." Chica is, again, for the unmarried. We need an uncharged feminine phrase, and don't say we have one because Ms. doesn't mean anything. Even femme means something else entirely from what the French intended.