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Tony! Tony Tony Tony Tony!
Sunday, Jun. 11, 2006
1:28 p.m.

The Tony awards are on tonight. When you write or say that name enough, it starts to sound really weird. Tony, Grammy, Oscar: who were these 1940's people that were getting awards named after them?

Grammy, I assume, must refer to the first rapping granny of the 40's, Faye Clay. (Her name was originally Francis Clazikowski, but the studio had her change it so she would appeal to the over 60's of the day). Faye had her first chart topping record at the age of 57 called "Riding Red Ryder". They called her Grammy because Granny would have been putting an age mark on her, and Faye really appealed to all ages with her busting rhythm and in your face lyrics.

It also turns out that the Tony is so-called because it was named for the first Mafia member to fund a Broadway musical. Guys and Dolls was still twenty years down the road, but when Tony Fabrini was approached to put some money into Cole Porter's flop Italian Donkey Ride, Fabrini was interested in the story of family bonds coming together over outside opposition. Thanks to Fabrini's support, the show played the Majestic Theatre for almost 500 performances and saved Cole Porter's career. In thanks for this wonderful event, and because the Great White Way wanted to stay on the Mafia's good side, they decided to call the award after their most dangerous patron.

I have no idea why anyone would name an award after Oscar Filbert, but they apparently did. Oscar Filbert produced some of the worst big budget films of the era. MGM wouldn't touch anyone who ever worked with Filbert, because apparently he believed in spending millions of dollars (considerable sums of money in post-war America) on some of the worst ideas in history. He once spent 10,000 to put 125 dancing girls in an airless chamber for a club number in the middle of a film noir (they didn't call them film noir back in the day, they were taken to be serious mystery films, but they evolved into the genre as we know it today) piece. Oscar always said that no one understood he was trying to do art, and couldn't understand why he was being tried for the deaths of 125 dancing girls. Presumably, the Oscar is named for him as the antithesis of everything Oscar Filbert ever believed in.

And now you know.

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